Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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