just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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