Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need moral support for this bender
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
