I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
