if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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