he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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