My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
