I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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