No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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