Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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