dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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