i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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