i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
