My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize