We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
