I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
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Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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