It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
