if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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