Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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