Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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