I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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