she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
