We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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