Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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