I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's shark week go big or go home
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
