Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In other news, I just burned my penis
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize