You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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