I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
