Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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