your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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