SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
