I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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