I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
