margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
