Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
