apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
