I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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