I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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