Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
