toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
