just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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