K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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