i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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