I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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