Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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