I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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