Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
