Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
