I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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