Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
