Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize