you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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