I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
