is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
