I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
