Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
