i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
