I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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