The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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