if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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